You’ve heard this story millions of times before. A girl meets a boy, the boy is perfect, the girl falls helplessly in love, the boy reveals his true face, and the girl is heartbroken.
I bet not only you’ve heard this before, but you’ve been through this shit and you got hurt. You got hurt badly.
You probably don’t want to have anything to do with men anymore. You’re disappointed and you’re angry with yourself. You’re frustrated because you let yourself fall for his tricks.
You let him deceive you and lie to you. You’re furious because you didn’t see it in time. You let your guard down and he sneaked his way to your heart.
I know it’s hard to move on after someone takes your heart and tears it into thousands of shreds. The pain is enormous. You want to smile—you have to smile because you don’t want anyone to see how much you’re hurting.
But your every smile hurts you even more. Every forced grin on your face pierces right through your heart.
But you have to know that no one has that kind of power over you. No one has the right to control and manipulate you. He did, for a moment, but you’ve seen it and you got out.
This time, it was too late to save yourself from all the pain, but hopefully, by reading these signs, you won’t make the same mistake next time.
1. He will guilt trip you
He will make you feel like shit in anything that you do. You’ll have the constant feeling that your every move is completely wrong. Guilt is his biggest weapon against you in order to gain what he wants.
If you want to do something for yourself, he will let you, but with sad puppy eyes. He will play the victim, so you feel sorry for him and once more choose to ignore your feelings to force you to be with him and take care his feelings don’t get hurt.
He would be perfectly fine if you didn’t stay with him, but his ego would be hurt because things didn’t play his way.
2. He will respect you – in the beginning
That’s why his act is so brilliant. He will be perfect from the beginning. He will give you the world. He will respect you and move mountains for you. He will be the man you’ve always dreamed of being with.
He will pay attention to anything you say, but not because he cares, but because he is an asshole who wants to manipulate you into doing everything he wants, into behaving the way he wants.
You’ll think he is listening to you because yes, he is that perfect of an actor, when actually, he is just a manipulator in disguise, lying and deceiving to get what he wants.
3. He will promise you the world and do…
Nothing! Only empty words and pathetic false promises come from his mouth. In the beginning, he promises you everything and you know what you get? You get nothing and he never meant to give you anything in the first place.
He will always say one thing to get your hopes up and then he’ll walk all over his words and do whatever he was planning to do anyway. Your feelings don’t matter—they never mattered.
4. His ‘help-mask’ is on
He’ll be gentle, sweet. He’ll be the stranger on the street that helps you get your things together after someone knocked you over in a hurry. He will be your ‘Hollywood moment’ of love at first sight.
Only your story won’t have a happy ending. Your story will be heartbreaking and painful. And he? He will move on, find another victim to play a do-gooder with.
5. He is the victim
His favorite tactic to manipulate you, his strongest weapon. These people are very intelligent and cunning. They know exactly what to say and when. They know to turn every situation to their advantage because they know how to lie right that very second when they need to.
He will play the victim every time he wants something and he sees he can’t have it. Pay attention if you see this: every time you are winning an argument in which he has the worse position because he is wrong, all of a sudden, you find yourself feeling sorry for him and you feel like shit.
It’s because he played you and made himself a victim. At the end of every situation similar to this one, you will feel bad because you’ve hurt him and you’ll forget why you were mad in the first place—what he’s wanted all along.
Emotional manipulation is horrific because wounds heal, bruises fade, but harsh words and psychological tricks leave your mind tempered with and once your mind is tempered, your whole setup has been changed, your personality is not the same.
That pain stays forever and it leaves you cautious and scared for the rest of your life.
You can heal, but you’ll never forget. You can tell yourself that you are okay, but you are not. Not until you decide to forgive yourself and forgive him. Not until you decide to move on.