Finding a significant other can feel like hitting the jackpot. It’s awesome to have that person to share your life with, to text when something funny happens, to cuddle with at night. Entering into a relationship brings a lot of changes. One of those changes is that people will perceive you differently if you’re taken.
There are many misconceptions and assumptions that come with being in a relationship, especially when you’re a woman.
There are some things that ladies in relationships just don’t want to hear.
1. “You’re going to marry him!”
Statements like “you’re going to marry him!” or “where’s the ring?” quickly become obnoxious. It’s not only unnecessary pressure but also an unfounded expectation. It’s not 1950, it’s 2014. Why is it assumed that you want to get married?
And not for nothing, it’s uncouth to count your chickens before they hatch.
2. “Now that you have a boyfriend…”
Being in a relationship changes you. But hopefully a relationship will not change the fabric of who you are as a person, your morals, your passions, ambitions, and aspirations. There’s nothing worse than have it assumed that you’re changing your life plans to accommodate your significant other.
3. “You’re taken care of.”
In a healthy relationship you and your partner will mutually support each other. That old-fashioned idea that a man will take care of a woman in a relationship is like a cockroach. It’s ugly, scary, and it just won’t die.
It’s extremely frustrating for a woman who has her own career and her own goals to be defined by outdated values.
4. “You don’t understand, you’re not single.”
When you get into a relationship it does shift your perspectives and in time you probably won’t be able to relate as well to your single friend’s experiences. However, it’s unfair for there to be any bias either way. Just as you shouldn’t see your friends any differently because they are single, they shouldn’t hold it against you that you’re in a relationship. You can still find ways to connect through your experiences.
You got a boyfriend, not a lobotomy.
5. You understand, you’re in a relationship.
On the other side of the spectrum, being in a relationship also doesn’t mean you automatically signed up for couple’s cult. Every relationship is different and personal. It feels awkward and unfair for anyone to presume anything about your relationship based on their own. Your relationship status doesn’t dictate your ability to understand/relate to things.
No one should act like there’s a secret handbook you receive when inducted into the great hall of relationships.